This Town Sucks

End of the day reflections: Been here... 5 days now?

5 days in this little town. Kinda reminds me of my old town… Wonder when I’ll be moving on.
Well I definitely call this a slow day. Shame I can’t slaughter vamps during the day, pansies. Well we all met up at that pancake place, Moe’s pancakes or whatever. The Drunken Librarian was dealing with a hangover, hah. If I trusted him more I’d give him a Sapper leaf. Rare things, amazing at soaking up toxins. Anyway, Cripple sent the Pyro Who I could really get used to buahaha and… Shifty Military Guy (SMG). Alec? I don’t trust him further than I can spit. Cripple sent them off to go stalk that stupid slayer. She looks like… Her. Which bothers the shit outta me. Kinda hope we just send her to the vamps. If she gets it through her thick ass head that vamps are out to get her. Cripple and I went to visit my robed buddy from the other night. If the stupid ass had been afraid of the gun like a regular person I could have avoided that outcome. The fact that the gun DIDN’T phase him still bugs me. Nobody found the poor bastard yet so we got to get a good look at him. Well Cripple did anyway, I poked him with a stick. Then we grabbed lunch, Honestly I’m really grateful to Cripple for the sandwich, I was starving. and headed back to the bookshop. Turns out that the robed guy was part of some African cult, and that cult specializes in sacrifice for… better karma? and to make their clan stronger. Or something. And they typically sac a leader of a different clan. Great. The gangs went to library and learned about the occult. Then SMG and the Pyro showed up. Apparently they had a… Burning good time. Hahaha. They tailed the Thick-Skulled Moron (TSM) to a mall. And stuck out like infected wounds. Pyro set some flaming dude on fire OVERKILL hah. They then tailed TSM to a theater, I think they saw a movie. Then they stalked her to a restaurant, where once again Pyro did… As Pyro does. Burned down the whole place with any luck.
Guess TSM went home, so we devised… A plan? If you wanna call it one anyway… After some debate, we decided to bring a vamp to her. How did we manage this? SMG aka Alec whipped out his phone and bam apparently we had a vamp being shipped to us. Either UPS has made some major shipping upgrades since the last time I used out, or I am totally right in not trusting him. So the “plan” as it stands: Have Drunken Librarian remove the slayer’s superficial and not really her friends, have Pyro pretend to be a reporter to draw her to a random graveyard, and throw our first class ordered vamp at her. If she doesn’t rise to arms, we mess up her purse and blame it on the vamp. Go half-assed plans! We called it a night at this point. I thought. As I walked home, I saw Her… Well the Moron anyway. I tailed her, and I think she saw me. She didn’t say shit to me, and I tailed her to that damn club. Why is it always with friggin clubs… Thankfully Pyro showed up because of one of her friends told her to come. And SMG creepily showed up behind us so… The Group was together again. Hooray… We walked into the club and everyone took a position. Pyro took the high ground, SMG and I took the bar. Lucky Bastard… Just cause he’s got an ID he gets to have a drink and I’m stuck with a damn RC. So now we wait. I wanna kill a vamp again damnit.

Entry 1
ValGal Rants

Dearest Diary,
School just started today. There’s talk of a few new teachers (some cute ones I hope) and a new football coach (who is not a teacher, talk about news!) to start out the year, but other than that, nothing overall exciting. Minus the hell of my locker. I cannot believe this. Some prick left a dead pig in MY locker. I doubt it was on purpose but still, shouldn’t these jerks know which locker is the losers locker they want to vandalize?
What. Ever.
Anywho. Bigger news. After all the stupid school drama (which was okay ‘cuz the guy in my English class that was totally hot shared his book with me) we (the usual, Sandra, Leah, Alyssa, Rose) went over to Jen’s house for an awesomely planned chic flick heaven movie night. Halfway through Eat Pray Love the doorbell rings and Jen goes to answer it. Guess who’s there? An ultimate hottie that is new to the neighborhood stopped on by and sat down with us. He had gorgeous deep brown eyes, black hair with that slightly spiky style, and very kissable lips. He had on a long black leather jacket, almost Neo like but it so worked on him, dark (slightly baggy) blue jeans, and a tan form fitting shirt. Jen introduced him as Eric and I swear his eyes lit up when he smiled at me. I knew at that moment that I wanted those lips all over me, and I dont mean just my lips.
Again, anywho…
As the movie comes to an end we are all so snuggled up close to this hottie, sadly Jen was the closest and not me, but that’s okay in the end. So the hottie, Eric, totally looks like he’s wanting something, or someone if you catch my drift. So we ask him if he wants anything to eat or drink or wants to watch another movie with us or whatnot and he totally agrees that he does want a snack, but this is where everything goes weird, like totally batty.
Eric looks over to us then Jen then says he knows what he ‘wants to snack on’ and totally takes a giant bite and latches onto Jen’s neck! Like can you believe it? He is there like a total leech, just sucking on her, and so not in a good way.
So the girls jump up on the coach and idk why but I grab the lamp (vintage of course) and take control. I manage to smack him upside the head knock him away but get this, even after his totally stupid and creep moment he comes after me! And you know what? All that cardio and workouts this summer finally paid off. I so totally and completely kicked his ass. Like all ninja style. I so did not know I could do that.
So, as our melee reaches an end the Eric hottie jumps out the window and takes off. Of course the cops came waaaay too late but we had an awesome story to tell them.
Now we’re all at Lyssa’s house chilling trying to take it easy. We all agreed to not open the door and made sure all the thick drapes were covering the windows and that they were all locked.
Thats it for now Diary.

Episode 4
Another failed attempt...

Watcher’s Journal

Day 3, Friday

The battle began with four vampires blocking Syd and I from a fifth vampire engaging the Slayer. For a brief moment, my hopes soared. This could be just the encounter need to make the Slayer snap out of her suburban revery and face her destiny.

No such luck.

She turned and ran. Like some… girl in a horror film. I felt embarrassment on her behalf.

While I felt confident in the Slayers abilities should she actually be caught, Syd and I had the small matter of a “human” chain of vampires to deal with. As I prepped my crossbow, Syd began an assault that was nothing short of apocalyptic. Three vampire were aflame before I unleashed my first bolt.

What’s more, the military type from earlier had followed us. Fortunately, he opened fire on the vampires, rather than yours truly. He managed to fell the vampire pursuing the Slayer, which allowed me to chase after her. To the best of my abilities.

I saw her make her way to the General Store (actual name), but was stopped by the local constabulary before I could reach the Slayer. Syd and I managed to evade suspicion and returned to my hotel room to wait for Sieg’s return.

Sieg and the homeless degenerate stop a rising at a local cemetery. It went fairly smoothly by their account. There was mention of napalm, but I’m pretty sure that was a joke. Then again, anything’s possible with that nameless bum.

Later that night, the lunatic drifter killed a defenseless, albeit probably evil, monk in Jordan Cemetery. The robed man merely laughed at the malodorous vagrant’s queries, at which point the encrusted derelict shot and decapitated him.

Sieg and I brought Syd home for the night. The police would likely be watching over the Slayer’s house, so no contact would be made tonight.

I had another vision last night. Kept it to myself, naturally. It would be… difficult to articulate their significance.

Everyone but Valerie and Sieg meets up at Mo Pancakes, Sieg I divvy up duties with Alec and Syd following the Slayer, leaving me to research the cult with the filthy hobo.

I shall officially be requesting hazard pay.

~Malcolm Turpin


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